so umm yeah.. im all weirdly hyper with that excitement that comes from reading something that is just sooo good that you almost cant believe it... i know i must sound like a dork.. but this woman is soo, so amazing.. ahhh .. michelle tea... i want to be you!!! ahh not really i just want her books to go on and inspire me forever.. right now im reading valencia.. which is also exciting because that's the street my sis lives on in san francisco... so i know everywhere that she is talking about in the book eeeeee! i cant even begin to explain her writing style it's so perfect... like how i wish and hope i can at some point attempt to write.. anways ill stop gushing... i actually went to the grocery store and the movie rental place tonight wearing the most ridiculus outfit ever! i was wearing weird tight black yoga pants... blue platform flip flops and a weird sea-foam green t-shirt and black and white bangles that i put on, on sat. and havent taken off yet lol ! i looked crazed and color blind lol... so i rented cry baby oooo so good.. and the guy at the movie place was like " oh so are you renting this because of johnny depp? it's so good to see you young people becoming interested in him" AS IF!! ok first of all i take it he was implying that i saw that lame ass main stream pirate movie flick and got all ga-ga over " heart throb" johnny so i rushed right out to the movie store and rented something with him in it.. so i could swoon and think lovey thoughts about him all night long AHHH... i rented cry baby because it's a fucking classic! and yes i guess i appreciate johnny depp ( is that even how you spell his name) i do like whats eating gilbert grape , edward scissor hand's ( ooo im getting excited just thinking about that movie lol brings back memories), ummm of course fear and loathing.... and benny and joon ( oo soo good), blow, ok so apparently i do really like him.. or at least i like most of the movies he's been in .. but i just felt insulted that this guy thought that i don;t know.. i wasnt old enough to like actually know or appreciate the movie cry baby.. im 19! i had a much older sister who i grew up with who was very much a child of the eighties.. i fucking grew up watching heathers, the breakfast club, pretty in pink, fast times at ridgemont hight, and so much more! im not some idiot who is just watching this movie because i saw johnny dep and went blind with lust arghhh! i guess im making a big deal about nothing... i just hate it when people underestimate me.. and what i like and what i know... so what else happened to me today.. ok i am officially starting the " buy lucien and pink vespa fund" im so sick of not being able to find parking anywhere... and this isnt just a whim... i have wanted a vespa ( pink of course with a matching helmet with ooo ghost flames oo im sooo excited) for years and years... and if you contribute to my fund.. i will let you hop aboard and hold on tight! because we will zoom around the city without looking back hehehe.. im in a fanciful mood tonight lol...so tonight at dinner i went into the kitchen to get the kid something ( sorbet i think and may i just mention that i bought that sorbet with my own fucking money and everyone keeps eating it !!!) so when i come back the dad is saying something like " well i just dont want to see the church allowing gay marriage" or something horrid like that.. now i dont know i always thought that these people that i am nannying for were pretty liberal, i mean they are as far as i knew until now... i pretty much freaked out on the inside and wanted to rant and rave at him... but instead i sat there and put on my pretty face hehhee.. then the mom said something like slightly disagreeing with him about the whole thing.. but not really... he kept going on about the sanctity of marriage or somethign like that... ehhh BASTARD.... i hate having to keep my mouth closed... I WON"T BE QUIETED lol.... so then i went and watched some tv .. watched sen john kerry campaigning in Mass. im pretty sure i want to have his invitro-fertilized babies.. he seems like a good guy... i def agree with his views on education reform and international affairs... i need to do more research before i more whole heartedly pledge myself to him hehehe.. and i cant quite tell if he's wearing a toupe or not... he bashed bush a lot which made me happy.. and he actually seemed to make some sense which i have found most politicians tend to never do... what else happend ummmm.... i think im sitting on a bra right now and a book... ive been to lazy to clean off my chair so i just sit on stuff quite uncofortable... school ( teaching)was ok today.. i talked to gabriella a lot which was cool.... about college and random crap... ummm i called mr. matt matt to see if it was still cool with him to come up next weekend to the big NYC heheh im excited already to imbibe in some illegal things and go to some shows and lay around and be cynical and sarcastic and witty .... my three favorite things lol.. ok i cant stand to be away from my book for any longer eeeee gnight... and one last note "nite" IS NOT A WORD ..... night is a word and knight is a word but NITE is not a word so stop using it!

so umm it is so hot!!!!!  i really really hate being hot.. i wish i could be cold all the time... umm anyways this morning really sucked.. i woke up at like 7 and i was soooo tired... and i got online and james was on and i really wanted to be able to talk to him but of course i couldnt because i had to go take care of the kid.. i was trying to get some clothes on but he kept on running into my room while i was changing.. oh and have i mentioned that he wakes up at 5 AM every morning and between 5 and 7 he will run into my room and hit me like 10 or 15 times.. while im trying to sleep and the mom will be like " oh william arent you silly" THATS NOT FUCKING SILLY IM TRYING TO SLEEP!!! james told me i should stick the kid in the freezer but im pretty sure i dont want to go to jail for child abuse lol... umm so then i was trying to eat a bagel so i put it in the toaster but the kid took off all his clothes and was running around naked and he isnt potty trained (eventhough he's almost 4!) so i ran upstairs to make sure he wasnt killing himself and he had started to shit on his bed.. i mean really! so i had to fucking deal with that and wash the sheets and everything.... IM 19 I DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS!!!! so then after i dealt with him shitting everywhere i went downstairs and my bagel was burnt! of course.. so i had to eat a cold burnt bagel ... but  i couldnt sit down and eat it i had to run back upstairs because the kid was ripping his pillow apart!.... and it was only 8 in the morning!!!!! so we got ready for school and i was really craving a chai so we went to starbucks and the kid felt it important to kick me in the shin so i spilled scalding hot chai all over me and then we had to go to school.. it's a bad sign when at 8:30 in the morning you feel like it's time for the day to be over.... so i taught until 12 and then went to go get the kid from his classroom.. and i drove around until he fell asleep.. i was driving down connecticut ave. which is like a really busy street but there are also always a lot of people that walk on the sidewalks... so this old old old lady was walking across the street and she couldnt walk very fast because she was like 89 and so our light turned green before she was across the road and this guy like started honking at her and yelling at her for not being across the street yet.. serioulsy what an asshole.. it's not her fault shes old and it takes her a little longer to cross the street... people are so stupid, i hate it! so last night i went to lamda rising to find more books by michelle tea... who is the most brillent girl write of our time.. and the funniest gay guy helped me at the book store! i <3 gay boys... they make me so happy.. i was in a totally horrible mood... and then i went to the book store and the boys made me happy again..and i found two books by  michelle tea.. the guy who waited on me was wearing a rainbow striped sarong lol.. and i ended up talking to the other guy that was working for like 20 minutes.... so im addicted to TV.. it's normally all i do..well not really but i watch a lot of tv... but i dont here because i thought that they only got like 8 channels... but last night i went downstairs and all of a sudden the remote worked ( it hadnt worked for 3 weeks) so im flipping through the channels with the remote and it turns out that if you use the remote to change the channels they have like 100 channels and it made me UBER HAPPY.. yay discovery health and the food network! but no MTV.. which makes me sad because ive been missing the real world.. sniffle anyways im gonna stop writing now because im even boring myself with this entry lol.... oh and i posted the link for my fotki picture album to the left so check it out

yeah yeah yeah, i know i just posted like a hlaf hour ago.. but for some reason the kid is still sleeping ( for like 3 hours YAY) so i got bored .... umm so i was just in the kid's parents room because i needed to get the phone.. and they wanted me to do some laundry so i was getting it from the hamper since im there bitch and slave ehhh... so i was in their room and i was looking at the bookcase to see what books they had and i found like 15 weird sex books.. now whatever.. i mean im not really judging them for having such a large quantity of sex books.. but it just kind of freaked me out, because they are such weird people... i mean i dont know ive been living in their house for the past 3 weeks.. and i havent seen them even discuss anything with a pleasent tone lol.. and as i mentioned earlier i can hear everything that goes on in their room.. and that's a whole bunch of nuthin.. so maybe that's why they have all the books because they have nothing goin on in the bedroom lol... anyways i feel sick so i  hope the kid keeps sleeping.. lastnight i think i popped a few too many sleeping pills lol because i felt like was going to vomit.. which would of been really embarresing considering is the bathroom is right outside their door so... im sure they would of heard my wretching ( how do you spell that hmmm??) anyways so today i exposed the kid to one of the best bands ever LE TIGRE... he will grow up to be a feminist if i have something to do with it lol anyways i will end this now because my conversation with kari is much more important lol

so the kid woke up at 5 AM which means i also woke up at 5AM which means i very very tired... in the morning i try not to leave my bed until the last possible minute..meaning 7:30 but i am always awake by like 6 because that's when the kid wakes up thus waking me up.... so i have like 5 minutes to get dressed and stumble downstairs.. so im always very disoriented and weird in the mornings... normally when im at home or at school people know not to talk to me for like 30 -40 minutes after i wake up... but here im expected to be all perky and functioning in the morning and it sucks! so today i took the kid to the air and space museum which was terribly boring because none of that stuff interests me at all... whooo hooo it's a big plane ... but i guess the kid liked it.. i meade him sit in the stroller because im really freaked out im gonna lose him when we're in crowded places like that.. what i really dont understand is why do mothers feel it neccesary to talk to other "mothers" like all day today all these moms kept like talking to me and asking me stuff about the kid " like oh his hair is so cute! how old is he? oh really my daughter is 2... are you and your mommy having fun at the museum today little boy?" ok first of all IM NOT HIS MOTHER im 19 and believe me i will not be getting pregnant for more than one reason lol... and umm the kid looks nothing like me.. i guess people think he's mine because most of the other nannies around here are foreign... but still like i dont go around randomly making small talk with other 19 year olds.. why do these mom's always come up and talk to me just because im carrying around a kid... get a life... so then we walked like 8 miles to the castle and he ate his lunch in the garden... and this damn squirrel kept like attacking us.... like we were sitting on this bench and the kid was eating a banana.. and the squirrel like kept coming on the bench and trying to eat it... the kid touched the squirrel and i got all freaked out.. but the squirrel wouldnt go away.. and i mean what was i supposed to do? i was trying to scare it away but it had no fear lol... so then while the kid was eating lunch i called lauren because i havent talked to her for like ever! and i miss her sooo and she's leaving for school in a week.. ahhh i can't believe she's going to college! so we talked for a while... and i heard the babies in the background ( her baby brother's alex and payton who are like 1 and 1 1/2 they are adopted from russia) i miss them sooooo much i should be home taking care of them instead of here taking care of this kid.... but instead ellen's gonna take care of them after lauren goes to school because savannah school of art and design doesnt start till like septemeber , and that's where ellen goes... she's oh soo artsy and im jealous lol... we'll all be wearing her clothes some day as lauren says.. anways so lauren told me that austin ( her boyfriend who ive know since i was like 5) got her a sugarglider for her b-day ( along with platinum earings oh my she's one spoiled girl) and she named her weasel lol.... but for some reason austin calls her charlie lol... what a nut... so i talked to lauren and got all sad that i wont be able to see her until thanksgving sniff ... and then we rode the carousel and then we came back here.. such an eventful life i lead lol... i started a new book last night.. invisible monsters by the guy who wrote fight club.. it's sooo good.... and very weird... umm so i;m very tired so i thought maybe i could get some sleep while the kid is sleeping so i was laying in bed and all of a sudden the kid starts crying and then he's shouting my name.. so i go into his room and he's awake and crying.. so i went over to him and sat on his bed and rubbed his back a little and he just feel asleep again.. i guess he had a nightmare or something... anyways i dont have anything pressing to talk about so im gonna go and read my book

Oh how time flies
With crystal clear eyes
And cold as coal
When you're ending with diamond eyes

Oh come child
In a crossbones style
Oh come child
Come and rescue me
'Cause you have seen some
Unbelievable things

Hater I have your diamonds and still
'Cause you have seen some unbelievable things
Hater I have your diamonds

Oh come child
In a crossbones style
Oh come child
Come rescue me
'Cause you have seen some
Unbelievable things

Hater I have your diamonds and still
So still

Oh how time flies
With crystal clear eyes
And cold as coal
When you're ending with diamond eyes

Oh come child
In a crossbones style
Oh come child
Come and rescue me
'Cause you have seen some
Unbelievable things

im like addicted to this song.. it's soo pretty.. it's by cat power ... umm this is prob going to be short because ihave like the worst headache EVER! at first i thought it was because i was dehydrated but then i drank a like a gallon of water and that didnt work.. so then i thought it was because i havent had a cig today so i went and smoked like 5 but that didnt work so now im pretty sure it's because jesus hates me lol... umm today was actually a pretty good day with the kid... we went to trader joe's and i bought yummy hummus... mmmmm.. and then we went home and put the food away and i grabbed some change for the parking meters ( and i made my self a little pita pocket with yummy hummus in it to eat in the car.... william said he wanted some but he ended up spitting it into my hand while i was trying to drive lol.. i felt like such a mom... and then i had a handful of chewed pita and hummus to deal with... so we went to dupont circle.. and i parked at like the top and we walked all the way to the circle where the fountain is... we window shopped along the way.. and yet again william is like really into all the buddha statues.. but by the time we reached the book store he got tired and made me carry him ( he weighs like 45 pounds..and it was like 90 degrees out) and also i was wearing a low cut shirt and since i was carrying him it made my shirt go even lower..and im pretty sure for about two blocks i was showing the people on the street a little more than i wanted to show them lol... so we went to the fountain and played in the park a little bit.. and we each threw a penny in the fountain and made a wish... and then i had to carry him like a half a mile to the car... which made me very tired..and it wouldnt of been so bad if i hadnt chosen to wear the one pair of flip flops that hurt my feet when i walk so now i have these two huge blisters between my toes ick!... ok umm i need to end it here because they need the phone.. but ill finish this later or maybe not depending on how my head feels

so right now im eating vanilla yogurt out of a coffee cup.. because i refuse to run the dishwasher, and we're out of bowls... if i run the dishwasher then i will be forced to empty it.. which i really dont want to do, ive started to do as little work as possible around the house.. like if they ask me to do laundry or something or cook dinner then ill do it.. but unless they ask i wont do it... shit.. the kid is awake.. an hour early, i really wanted to be able to take a shower before he woke up.. oh well i guess ill be dirty lol.. so ill finish my yogurt, fix him a snack, and then we're off to trader joe's to do some grocery shopping.. i <3 trader joe's.... because they have tons of yummy vegetarian things to eat... im going to get myself some chik patties because they are oh so good... mmm chick peas lol.... and the kid eats these weird soy meatballs ( they're really really gross).. and umm i think we're out of granola... so im off... god why couldnt he of slept longer.....the mom keeps asking me if im ok.. and telling me that i should go out and "enjoy washington" but i think thats just because yesterday she prob thought i didnt leave me room even though i went out twice... i just didnt leave my room while they were home.. lol so i wouldnt have to deal with them or the kid .. ok i think he's breaking something in his room.. so i need to go

i dont feel like making an actual entry right now because umm.. well i just dont feel like it so i thought id make a little list...

                                          things im obsessed with right now:
kari- because she's oh sooo cute.. and fits in my pocket lol

vanilla yogurt..mmm i just want to eat it all the time... but in a few days i will hate it again lol

tazo-berry tea frapaccino's from starbucks (yeah i know i hate starbucks but they are soo yummy)

my new black mesh beaded chinese slippers... sooo cute

the new yeah yeah yeah's cd... mmm hmm it rocks my socks

jane magazine ... in my book the only girly mag that's worth any of my $$$

dentyne fire gum ... i cant stop chewing it lol

badger lip and body balm not only does it have a pic of a badger on the tin but they now make it in cinnamon flavor YAY ( although im not sure what part of your body it would go on besides your lips lol, and i dont really think i want to know)

my new fake prada purse... FINALLY a bag that i can fit a ton of stuff in.. i was so tired of my last purse that my wallet barely fit in.. now i can carry books, cigs, and even a small puppy lol

the cover of rolling stone with angelina on it... very good pic

granola.. i just cant get enough.. wait does that make me some sort of a hippee (wait how do you spell that lol?) ok you have permission to shoot me if i ever smell like pitouli because that is the sure sign

body shop coconut body butter.. i think everyone should smell like this at all times.. and it makes me soft hehehe

pinstripe pants...ooooo i love you so....

the show MONK.. hehehe i'm a dork but i really like it lol

dean and deluca... i love it love it love it... when i get older i will only shop there.. except i won't because ill be a teacher and be poor so i wont be able to afford it lol

getting my eyebrows waxed... umm i have a thing about eyebrows.... they must be perfect... and i kind of like the pain of getting them waxed lol yeah i know im a weirdo but lauren does too.. so lay off lol

reading.... i always have been and i always will be... life is so boring without at good book ...so far since ive been in dc ( three weeks) ive read : Geek Love ( ahhh so good it's about carnies lol and so much more) Happiness ( very fucked up and good), The Dangerous Lives of Alter Boys ( i havent seen the movie the book was worth reading it only took a couple of hours to be done with it), Sex and Death to the Age 14 ( very very funny), The Corrections ( im not done with it yet, i kind of stopped reading it because i got involved in another book but it's good, it's one of those books that everyone told me to read and i just never got around to it), Impossible vacations( by the same guy who wrote the sex and death book, again very funny very interesting),and last but not least the best book ive read so far : The passionate mistakes and intricate corruption of one girl in America ( it's sooooooo good i bought it yesterday and i havent stopped reading it since... i dont want it to be over but im almost done and im sad.. read it read it read it!)

umm well i guess that's about it.... i know im sure this wasnt very interesting.... but oh well ... oh yeah ive also become a movie rental junkie because the movie store here is sooo good... american pimp is a great documentary about pimps... wonderland is one of the most amazing documentary's ever made .. and it's so funny ... ummm trying to think... i rented crumb which is supposed to be very good but i havent gotten a chance to see it yet ... until then i bid you adieu

i had a glorious entry all planned out but im just too tired and unhappy to even sit here and write it all out.... so instead i will lay in bed and think... which is my problem, i think way too much.... the mom in the house ( the people i nanny for) keeps asking me if i feel ok or if im doing all right... like she's afraid im going to slit my wrists on her dining room table... so i put on my perky face and say " yup im doin just fine! need some help making dinner?" and i prance around being all happy and dying inside... im being so melodramatic.. but who cares? i just need to be home or in brooklyn or somewhere with people who know me and understand me... i need to be around my friends.. i need to have contact with people who care.. and understand me... ehhh im such a mope, such a drag.. sitting here feeling sorry for myself but what else is there to do... im past the " im gonna make the best of this" stage and i still have three more weeks here...  i went to breakfast today at this diner down the street and it brought back all these memories of highschool...
denny's the place we all called home.. our little gang.. me, courtney, philip and ashely who were considered one being... always together, mary beth.. and in the end matt (my matt)... i dont remember how it all started i dont remember when it started, i just remember it being... us together every day every weekend.. going to shows, being in courtney's basement room for hours on end only emerging to go out at night... sitting in her room while her and philip sang and played the guitar... then going out to cause trouble.. go to a car show.. or go hear bands... and then denny's our denny's every night.. every day that's where we were open 24 hours, just like us.. that's where everyone was everyone we knew and cared about everyone sitting at boothes talking and laughing and causing trouble.. that's where we met people ,that's where we felt safe... moving from table to table from person to person.. we knew everyone and everyone knew us... drinking coffee and smoking ciggarettes until we were so shakey and vulnerable that the lines of the people ran together and we all became one big swirl of smoke ... the shows back then were horrible but we went almost everyday back then it seems, back then when the scene was alive and the bands cared about the music more than "making it" out in the real world... i was so happy back then so nervous with energy because this was all so new... i was in love with the singer of Gliss.. his hair in his face.. how it felt like those huge blue blue eyes were staring into mine.. and im sure the music sucked those silly songs... hanging out at the REV for hours going outside between bands smoking and giggling and talking... spending hours just talking about "deep political issues" being so concerned with the world.. but being so little and sheltered... and then the summer of me and mary beth.. we spent every moment together going from hangout to hangout.. the pizza place where all of our friends worked( they were all her friends but i claimed them as my own) playing cards in the booth, playing black jack for cigarettes eventhough we always shared them with eachother in the end... that was the summer we re-discovered drugs ( but in the end it was all to much for her, she was out of control and i had to step back.. i couldnt handle it or her)... always slighlty out of it not quite sure what we were doing or where we were going... i was always behind the wheel so afraid that i was going to hurt us in some way but giddy with the excitement of our mundane summer evening spent in the park on the swings... talking , smoking, walking.... being little.... and then matt.. matt who mary beth conquered one night at this silly club... she flounced over to him while i sat nervously watching with big eyes.. and then he was one of us instantly... like he has always been a part of my life .... and then the coffee shop opened i dont even remember when.. and we spent our friday's listening to the open mic poetry readers.. and clapping when courtney would instill us with her wisdom that poured through the PA system and into our ears.. courtney who was always writing and still is.... and her and ashley would sing to me that song... the cars.. you''re just what i needed... because at that point i was a shell of myself.. going through the motions and i couldnt find my way out of it, but they tried and it worked eventually im sure.. along with the meds and the drugs... i think back now about all that has happened.. our gang is no longer we have all fought or broken up or moved on to our big cities... i still have matt, my matt.... but the rest is history and i know im sounding like a jerk.. being all mushy and stupid with these words that make me sound so wannabe literary... but it seems like it was good back then, eventhough it wasnt...matt and i went back to denny's last year.. and it was different not the same, our friends weren't there a new set of kids with the same set of rules... we are now the legends that we used to talk about... and now we move on

okay so today has been pretty lame... i like to use the word lame i think it is a good word hehhe.. im in a really crazy hyper mood because i havent done like anything at all... and i havent slept in like 5 years sooooo umm yeah... after i made my last entry i umm ate somethign and then layed in bed for like 3 hours... the kid ran into my room and hit me in face at one point but that was about all that happened during that time.. i was actually trying to sleep but apparently my body has evolved into some sort of a hybrid of myself that no longer will accept sleep as a pastime .... so then i got up and decided that i needed to stop freaking out and being all mopey so i hopped into my car.. well i didnt really hop as much as get in, but whatever... so i just kind of drove around and listened to a great deal of nirvana ( for some reason when im pissed off i like to listen to nirvana) .. so i decided to go to dupont circle because umm it's slightly interesting.. whenever i drive there i pass the chinese embassy and in the little park like by the road there are always like 50 people meditating at all times.. like even at night and stuff.. it's pretty cool .. i  really admire that ability to be able to be so calm and centered stuff... anyways so i finally found some parking which i next to impossible... i really need to learn how to parallel park... so i went to this cd store that is going out of business and bought the sahara hotnight cd, and the modest mouse cd YAY.... umm so then i went to the book store and randomly ran into taylor.... it's weird, i always just run into people at really random places lol... ok so now i wil mention somethign about kari because she told me that i should write about her... ummm yeah she's a cool gal .. hehehe i like the word gal almost as much as the word lame.. this is like the most pointless entry ever.. i think that my entries are suffering because it is so fucking hot in my room.. i cant think clearly.... so anyways there's this guy that always hangs out in dupont circle like by the Cosi.... and he's homeless or somethign ... but i mean ive walked past him on several occassions and ive noticed that to everyone that passes he gives them a compliment... like today he told me that he really liked my shoes..and he told the girl next to me that her shirt looked good with the color of her eyes ... today when iwalked past he goes " im the compliment man"... now he's kind if intimidating and he freaked me out a little bit the first couple times i walked by... but i think its cool that he spends his day making people feel special... i think everyone needs that in some way or another... i know i would be a much happier person if i had a little guy/girl/midget/gnome walking around telling me im cute all the time lol... ok i have to pee so im gonna wrap this up.. and end by saying how much i love my pocket pal kari! i know that tonight will go well with that guy sweety.. you deserve it!

so i just had some sort of weird getting dressed crisis... i got out of the shower and for some reason decided that i needed to wear a skirt today ( yeah i know! why in the hell would I wear a skirt? i never wear skirts) actually i wear this jean skirt that has cool stuff like stiched onto it sometimes but normally in the winter when i can wear black tights and boots with it.... but i dont know so i wore the skirt for like .5 seconds and then realized that i cant sit like a lady and the slit up the front was a little too revealing lol... so then i couldnt find any pants that i wanted to wear, eventhough all i wear are black capri pants or black pants lol at this point im like freaking out because i also can not locate  this certain black tanktop i want to wear.... and of course none of my pants are "right".... so i give up throw on a different sleeveless black shirt ( i wanted the one thats lacy but whatever) and my favorite pair of black capri pinstripe pants that i wore yesterday.. yeah i know but whatever... ill be dirty lol.... and then i was trying to find my blackand white bangles because i felt like i was wearing too much black so i either needed to wear my pink mod flower pin or my white and black bracelets and then i couldnt find the bracelets and i freaked out because i cant buy anymore of them if i lose them... for some reason one of them was like on my bed but i couldnt find the rest... so i had to wear my skinny black and white bangles that i dont like... yeah such a hard life i lead but stuff like this really bothers me lol when i cant find things... wow im sure this has been like the most boring paragraph that you have ever read but whatever... so it's the weekend so i dont have to be a nanny... last night i got like 3 hours of sleep which is like remarkable! i was very excited about it... and i got to sleep until 8 which is also great! so it's like 12:30 and i have no idea what im going to do today.. i mean i cant just like loaf around here all day because i would get all anxious and edgy and plus it's boring... so i might drive to the capitol and go to an art museum or something productive and inspiring like that or maybe ill just go to this cool bookstore ive been meaning to hit up.... buying books always make me all happy and calm.... and i have absoloutly no idea what im gonna do tonight because the people i live with have to like do something in the basement like work or something ( and that's where the tv is) so i cant watch a movie or anything... ill prob drive around and find something to do... or pop a pill and sleep a little... ehh im such a nerd.... oh well hmmm i need to go bother the people at the cd store in dupont circle because i really want the new modest mouse CD, but they havent gotten it in yet! and that makes me unhappy.... ok this entry is boring me so im gonna stop writing until i have something half way worthwhile to talk about